Our blogger today is Nicole Klein, Asst. Professor of Kinesiology and Health Education. Prof. Klein’s research focuses on community health education, and she teaches courses in community health education planning and evaluation, foundations of health education, women’s health, sexuality education and health behavior theories. Along with Prof. Cathy Santanello, she was co-faciliator of the enormously popular talk last Fall, “The Nuts and Bolts of Human Sexuality: What Every College Student Should Know.” Her blog post is grounded in a similar impulse as last Fall’s talk (as well as much of her work): to reject the sense of taboo associated with human sexuality–and women’s sexuality in particular–and to help people to understand their bodies and thus to feel a sense of greater empowerment.
How can you tell if you have orgasmed? What exactly does an orgasm feel like?
Once a semester, students in my personal health class write anonymous questions on index cards about sex and sexuality. One of the most often asked questions is some variation of: “How do I know if I’ve had the Big O?” Those who have not achieved orgasm either through self-stimulation or with a partner used to be considered anorgasmic—as in, not orgasmic at all (in essence, broken). Now, however, the preferred term is “pre-orgasmic”—a much more sex-positive and reassuring term–sort of like The Little Vajayjay That Could. If this describes your little engine, I offer a few suggestions for getting past the plateau and climbing to an orgasm.
Go exploring–yes, masturbate. Touch things that like to be touched in ways they like to be touched. Not sure where to start? Try some erogenous zones—ears, nipples, clitoris, lips. Don’t pressure yourself. You don’t have to have an orgasm to feel good.
Forget the porngasms you may have seen—women orgasm in many different ways—quietly, loudly, using fingers, vibrator, showerhead, clenching thighs together, pushing against a pillow. There is no right way to have an orgasm.
Consider clitoral stimulation with a vibrator. Rest assured that vibrators have gone mainstream when a catalog targeted at the 65-plus crowd carries both the Terrycloth Pop-over Dress and the highly rated Butterfly Kiss Personal Massager (“I would buy this product again and again” writes “Happy”).
Want more information? Check out Betty Dodson’s classic book Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving.
So, as we wrap up the month that encompasses Valentine’s Day and National Condom Week, rest assured that “I think you can, I think you can”.
Prof. Nicole Klein